When people die.

"When people in my life, it is usually of old age/old-age-complications or something along those lines. I recently had a family friend not die of the inevitable aging process. He hung himself in front of his house early in the morning a month ago. His wife found him and gave him CPR to no avail. One would assume that he was suicidal and blackened in the mind. Yes, he probably was but nobody would know it. He had a zest for life not many could match or muster up and to talk with him you felt like he was your best friend. Fantastic man. But he killed himself. He had been in pain for a very long time and it finally got him. In the last couple days I figured out that a parent of someone I am acquainted with also passed. For reason's I don't know. I do know that she probably isn't much older than 60 (if even that old). Its just strange though, that I am now at the age where people are dying and they don't seem as old as they used to. I'm waiting for the third to die. I don't know who, but they come in threes.

People are dying and people are also getting married and having babies. All that seems so close to me now. It never existed really in my world as possibilities for me but they're close and they're scary."

People and Their Kids

Um, okay. So people have kids all the time right? Why is it these days its okay to have a kid with someone you're not really that committed to? Like "let me knock you up" and then we'll try and stick it out together and then split the kids' time. WTF? Or when you know that one of the people is a total fuck but they go and have that kid anyway. I'm all for having kids. I want some myself one day. But you throw two people together for a couple minutes of pleasure and they pop out a kid that is going to be very disfunctional if the parents don't have it together. I'm not saying everyone from a broken home is damaged but I would say they are more so than their counter-parts. Not that people who have parents that are still together or were raised while they were together in the formative years are less damaged, but I might go as far to say that they are *maybe* on the whole a bit less.

Whats with this shotgun wedding thing going on in Celebrity World. Jessica Alba, Ashley Simpson etc. Why can't they wait for kids until they've committed themselves to each other instead of committing themselves because of a kid. It seems like life, love and relationships are so disposable these days. Its sad.

I have always been somewhat of an idealist despite the world looking quite glum for long-term-life-partnerships. I hope that people can have relationships that last forever. I hope that, because I want that. But I also want excitement and freedom that oft disappears whence in a relationship. I wish they could go hand in hand. I know they can but then often other things, important things, don't match up.

I hate reality TV.