Artwalk Downtown

Last night I went to Artwalk with my roommate Bryan. I have lived downtown for about five years and have never been. I was so impressed and happy. Its really great! So many people. So much art. Its really alive and it felt good to be out and about. Safari Sam's at the Regent is pretty great. It reminds me of the Phoenix Theatre in Petaluma which is a very fond memory. Alas, I did lose 20 bucks somewhere out there on the streets of downtown. It was a sad occurrence not to be repeated.

In summation:

20 bucks lost + free wine + art I connect with + art that I don't connect with + good friends + strangers = A great evening downtown

Goodbye to Flying

Yesterday I cut my wings off and took it to a store to be sold off to someone who needs it more and can afford them. It was a sad day. I had to walk back from Silverlake to Downtown and eventually had to take the bus. Since I don't know the bus lines I ended up a short distance from my apartment and continued to walk from there. It was a mopey day. Hopefully my wings will make someone else very happy.

Review: Wurstküche

A new little place in the Art District just opened recently. It serves all sorts of specialty sausage sandwiches and Bavarian french fries with dipping sauces. It has 48 beers on tap and is super funky fresh. Since I don't eat a lot of meat, the wieners aren't really my thing except if I was craving it but the fries are DELICIOUS!! And the have a ton of dipping sauces for them. Try it out!

Daily Workout: Surfing the Web

Online shopping is making my fingers tired.

Watch This #5

LA I.C.E. episode 2

Black Friday and Cyber Monday

I rarely ever shop on Black Friday. And I wasn't planning on it, but my cousin Justin needed to do some shopping and since I had the keys to Mom's car and a cousin with nothing to do, I agreed to go. First we went to Best Buy. As I've been trolling ebay and Amazon recently, I have realized how much cheaper stuff is if you look for it online. So we didn't get anything there. We then picked up my mom from work (as she had gotten the day off) and went off to Target where I proceeded to sell a woman a camera that was no longer in stock and then watched a crazy fight between and employee and some plain clothed dude who I later found out was an employee also. It was pretty frightening and crowded but kind of exciting to recount.

Holidays can be stressful but not stressful enough to kill someone. I know one man's family is mourning his death after being trampled to death by zealous customers at a Walmart early on Black Friday.

I continued to shop with my mom yesterday. We literally shopped til we dropped. We shopped all over and by the time we were done, I was dragging my body here and there, up and down the isles. And now, I am sitting at Peet's coffee in the Nut Tree complex in Vacaville shopping online for Cyber Monday.

Hi, my name is Eva and I'm a shopaholic.

Review: Thanksgiving

I had a pretty amazing time with my family this year. I had two full Thanksgiving meals. Getting all that food down was kind of difficult but soooo delicious. I had so much food I literally went into a food coma at 10:30 pm. Which for anyone who knows me somewhat well, would know thats crazy early! I got to see many of my family (which was great!!!) and two of my friends joined me for meal #1. My family can be a bit overwhelming from an outsider's point of view, but they took it in stride. Well done Jorjeana and Luke!!

I love turkey!!! Gobble gobble.

Watch This #2.5

I know I already posted this, but this is the final version of it... AND its also the first of our six episodes. I am in I think 4 or 5 of the episodes. I'll post them here but you could also subscribe or favorite it on youtube.

Did you know? #2

That I LOVE rain? I always have. Even it it was shit-storming-rain. A couple days ago on my 7 day weather forecast, it said it was going to rain Tuesday. It was supposed to rain up in the bay area, so I thought I would get doubly lucky, going from LA to the Bay and it would still be raining. As a kid I spent a lot of time playing in the rain. My mom never had a problem with it. It was never, "You're gonna catch your death" kinda thing for her. And I never did, by the way.

Tonight, I dropped my car off at Tim's house so it wouldn't get ticketed or stolen or something. I decided instead of calling for a ride, I would walk to the train station and then home from Union Station. I had enough forsight to take my umbrella with me (as I've been checking the forecast for the hourly "raincast." When I got to the Filmore train station in Pasadena, there was a homeless guy that got off the train before my train came, and I watched him. And he was interesting. Eventually he looked at me and I waved hello to him. I figured I owed him that much after staring at him for a good couple minutes. He was kind of a crazy one. But I think he was probably more scared of me that I was of him (which wasn't much, except for a moment). I would have loved to let my train go and pick his brain but I would have been stranded as it was the last train of the night, I believe. When I got to Union Station everything was quiet. There were people there kind of waiting about, or sleeping in the nice leather seats. Its a beautiful place that everyone should see even if they aren't traveling.

I could have driven all night in the rain. I even considered driving up to the bay in my car that I don't trust to get me there, just so I could drive in the rain. LA doesn't have much rain. I grew up in the Bay Area where there are seasons and generally a good amount of rain in each except the summer. Eventually, I decided against driving up, as I remembered the picture of California's weather for the next couple hours and knew there wasn't going to be rain past a certain point.

For me, rain was always cleansing me. It wiped down the surface of the earth and restarted many natural cycles. It renewed the smell to things or washed away the months of oily cars zooming down its surfaces. On my trip home in the open rain (under my umbrella, of course!) I smelled many different things I normally don't smell. I smelled my Hawaii trip from New Years of 2007. I smelled watermelon, which is a strange one to smell in the middle of downtown LA, in the middle of the night, and in the middle of the rain. I smelled piss on a homeless guy I walked by. I smelled wet asphalt. And while wet asphalt isn't that pleasant of a smell, it's the nostalgia it evokes. Wet days on the school playground, when days were simple and cold and pretty.

Rain makes me happy, it makes me smile and I feel serene. Nothing in the world can be wrong when I am standing in the rain.

Mood Enhancers: Rain

I love you Rain!!! I've been waiting for you.

What I'm Grateful For

I was going to buy these at one point. I wish I had. They'd be a great present for Anne.


Um, I think its pretty obvious what's so funny.

People Are Genius!

I love people. They really amaze me. At first, one could look at this picture and say, "That's hella ghetto." But take a second look, PURE GENIUS. I would totally sit in the boot of the car.

Daily Workout: Butternut Squash

I've never cook butternut squash before, but I've loved it when I've had it before. So I thought, instead of buying the pre-cut stuff from Trader Hosenladin (Trader Joe's) I bought a nice organic one from Ralph's in Hollywood. I decided I was hungry and needed to incur some bodily eating. So I proceeded to make some food. I realized, as I was making the first cut into the top that it was a tough mofo and that there is a reason it is only sold pre-cut at Trader Joe's. Its hard as fuck! Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if I was sore tomorrow from cutting it into cubes. Anyway, like most of my cooking, my meal was improv'd with the stuff I had in the kitchen. It turned out pretty delish so I think I'll give you the recipe.

organic olive oil
2 organic med onions
2 cups organic water hahahah
2 cups spaghetti sauce
1 smallish med butternut squash
fresh basil
fresh mint
rosemary
salt
cayenne pepper
pepper

in a large pot, pour olive oil just enough to coat the bottom of the pot. dice onions and toss in. Carmelize onions add salt to taste at this point. pour 4 cups sauce and water into pot, stir and let simmer for a bit. add basil, mint, rosemary, salt, cayenne to taste. toss in butternut squash to cook in simmering sauce now. cook for 25 minutes or until lightly softened. Stir occasionally.

Eat.

Delish.

Improv cooking!

Something Really Terrible happened...

My boyfriend's cat, Jimmy, peed on my purse. Thats not the worst part though, my phone got it in the bottom part of it, in the speaker and the button, so when I am talking I am inhaling boycat peepee. Its pretty ga-nar-lee. But I can't stay mad forever. Mama Kittie (my cat) was licking my phone tonight, and drooled a little. I don't know if she was excited or angry....

Nissan Cube or I may call it Nissan CUTE!!

I am IN LOVE with this little car. It comes to the US in 2009 and I am so excited. My car is slowly dying. Last week the fan for the heater and a/c went out except for level 4. So unless I want hot or cold air blasting my face/feet/window I've got to get that fixed or sell my car. Not to mention a plethora or other comforts going down the tubes. I only wonder how long it is until my car dies completely. I wonder if I can wait til next spring to get a Cube or if I am going to have to get a used Scion xB (old style). I wouldn't mind that so much, but if I could have a new car for the same price that is just as cool maybe, possibly cooler, then I should just go for that. Plus, I like Nissan. I have had a Nissan for 10 years now, its been a good long ride why not continue?

Kombucha Pt. 5

I am turning into kombucha vinegar. Its delish.

Christmas is Around the Corner

And I am sooooo excited! Today I got some fantastic news! I am going to be having Christmas at Discovery Bay!!! I have spent most of my Christmases there and they have been very special. Unfortunately, last year, we didn't go to Discovery Bay because there was someone that couldn't be there who is an integral part, but this year we are all going to be there. It is an old house that I spent many of my weekends growing up in. It has an old brown couch that sucks the energy out of you by cradling you to sleep and fantastic views of the delta. It sits on the water and on a specific night before Christmas, they have a boat parade with all the boats covered in twinkle-y lights. It gives me so much excitement to know we are all going to be there. :):):):)

I love Christmas. Its a great time of the year, full of love and full of life. I can't wait for you to be here Christmas. Oh get here soon!

If you Live, Work or Play in Downtown...

Take this survey pleeeease. It will help us get a Trader Joe's and whatever else you like. :D Downtown LA survey

Did you know...? #1

That I am an expert hairstylist? This is from fashion week last week for the Joseph Domingo show.

I love Dr. Suess

Photo: courtesy of Timothy Kendall

Advice #1

I'll say this is good advice for relationships in general.

"Pay attention to your partner. Don't be selfish. Give—more than you receive. It will pay off in the end."

- Gay porn superstar Michael Lucas tells Bastard Life, on the advice he'd offer those who want to be the best in bed

Procrastination

is a costly characteristic. This week I have spent many hours and many many dollars on procrastination, or, er, um... the results of procrastination. Basically, what I've learned is that it pays to do things in a timely fashion. Its taken me 26 years to learn this?

Watch This #4

I've always been facinated by Painting with Light

Criticism

Some people think criticism makes artists better. Or even "constructive criticism" which is still thinly veiled criticism. Who does criticism benefit? The critic might feel good, like they have given this person some direction or help but the artist feels like they aren't good enough or didn't do it the way they should have. When in fact, the artist did it as they saw. They may not have the technical expertise just yet to fully communicate their idea, but it is theirs and theirs alone. They will get better with practice and develop their own style and expertness in time- no criticism required. Some people disagree with this concept. Some people need that "feedback." I think they've been trained to think that way through years of painful "This is for your own good" criticism.

Picture this. You're at the gym. And you are trying to do perfect pull ups. And some one is sitting there after every attempt and saying, "That pull up was no good. You didn't do XYZ." or "Almost, but not quite. You didn't really seem into it." Or whatever. You would probably say, "Eff this. I didn't really care about doing pull ups anyway." It may sound quite ludicrous, this example, but the idea behind it is a very true one.

Many artists are not born amazing or prolific or even proficient but they work for it, they sweat for it, they are even sometimes poor for it. ;) They practice, they do it over and over til they can do it blindfolded and sleeping. Many have had so much criticism in their days that, everything they do is "crap".

A lot of the time, artists will be critical of other artists and thus be critical of themselves. And because they are critical of others they assume that others are being critical of them. And so a vile cycle occurs and artists quit doing what they're doing after enough criticism- even "constructive criticism." I put it quotes because it is still criticism. People don't go to art shows or movies because they hope its crap. They go in hopes that it will effect them in a good way.

You might want to try something...

MAYBE STOP CRITICIZING OTHERS. It will make you feel less self conscious of yourself and your art.

AND MAYBE STOP CRITICIZING YOURSELF. You'll be amazed at how great it will feel. It takes practice for sure. But when you get the hang of it, it sure feels good.

Pet Names

Pet names could be two things. In this case, they are my pets from over the years. I never thought I was very creative with names but recently, I've been naming my neighbors fish and I'll say I'm quite impressed with myself. hahah

Currents-
Mama Kittie aka Coogie Moogins aka Moogin Coogin- cat (she used to just be Kittie until I got Baby Kittie)
Baby Kittie aka Little Coocoo aka Little Cootie- cat
Sir Galahad or Jihad for short- puffer fish
Gobstopper- sucker fish

Exes-
Scooter- cat
Ginger- bunny
Percy Marijuana (RIP)- mini bunny *see above
Fluffy- bunny
Snowflake-bunny (can you guess what color?)
I had a turtle once, I don't remember his name.
Doen-Die- goldfish that was never fed but never died (at least for a long time)
Jake the Snake- um... snake. Duh.
Cosmo- iguana
Wiener Dog- Dachshund aka wiener dog


In the boyfriend's fish tank-
Leopold, Mike and Ike (RIP), Mad eye (has one eye), Bob and Bob (RIP Bob), and another unnamed.

In Bryan Harris' fish tank-
Mike, Ike and Tina Turner, Garth AlGar, Winston (Crawfish), Lance (it's a bass)

I love animals. I wish I could have more. One day a cow and a horse.

Sexy Halloween

Um...

What is up with Halloween being the day or "season" to dress like the slut you pretend not to be? It's not just Freddy Krueger. It has to be "sexy" Freddy Krueger. its not a care bear it has to be a "sexy" care bear.

I protest "sexy" Halloween costumes. One year, I quickly made a cave woman costume because I had a great cave woman wig from a job I had just done. But it was too sexy. So I quickly changed. Its always fucking cold on Halloween, even if it had been warm the whole week prior. If you want to dress like a slut, then do it year round. Don't pretend its only something you do for Halloween. Me? I like to dress in things that are fun, warm and comfy. This year its a bumble bee- courtesy of Anne. Its cute and warm and I don't have to wear 40 inch heels.

I do however love the "sexy" Jesus costume.

Watch This #3

I just wanted to say, YouTube is kind of crazy! There are so many videos on there. Videos how to make an egg glow in the microwave or turn your ipod into a taser. I hear about how youtube is revolutionizing things and I haven't really partaken in it. It sometimes seems like there is so much to watch its hard to figure out where to start. I learned how to knit in the round via a youtube video. I think youtube is a very fun method of educating oneself on random things, like how to put on make up or how to be a ninja. I am personally missing "how to be a pirate ninja" or "ninja pirate" I can't decide. But if someone wants to make a video about that, I wouldn't be opposed.

Glowing Egg...

Floyd Lloyd Cuizon and The Bay Area

Over the weekend, me and the BFF took a road trip to our home area. We grew up 15 minutes from each other but never knew each other til 1999. <-- more about that later.

We went up for her auntie's wedding. But since I'm from there and my family is still there I thought I would do the rounds and see everyone. Anne and I arrived to her parents house around 4am on Saturday morning after hours of my DJing Rick Astley and Peter Cetera songs we were bleary-eyed but glad to be home. My mom picked me up from my aunt's house a couple minutes away and off we zoomed to the mall in Pleasant Hill/Concord for some good old-fashion shopping. Disgusted at the amount of purfume that was wafting through the mall, my nose started to actually burn inside Abercrombie and Fitch. (Disclaimer- I had to go in with my mom so she could by two shirts for her friend to take to England for her grandson.) We quickly made our purchases and left. I arrived at my dad's house shortly after where we had tea and conversed some. And then off to my grandparents house, where we had more tea and more convo. We left there to get to dinner with my mother's friends and had more food and more convo. At this point I am falling asleep with my eyes open. We went to my mom's house. Both had a quick nap and then jetted back off to my auntie's house in Pinole to say hello to my aunt and uncle and my wiener dog. Anne picks me up from there and we go off to visit with our old friend Rene. We eventually get home and go through Anne's year books and laugh at all the people we know. And fell into our respective beds with our eyes already closed.

Here comes the 1999 part.

Anne and I met in 1999. At the time we had boyfriends (actually, I was BFF with my ex at that point) that were best friends and were in the same band. We drank milk tea every chance we got and we took bart into the city as other Bay Area folk do. Basically this was the weekend of 1999. We hung out with Rene (Anne's Ex), took bart into the city to retrieve a taxidermy deer head and check out a local Burningman clothing store and then rode back on Bart with Floyd Lloyd Cuizon the deer. We returned to get Milk Tea from the one and only J&S at the 99Ranch. Listened to music from 1999 and talked of things 1999.

The bay calls. I miss it. It smells good. I miss my old house. I miss my family. I miss the bay views. I miss the cold. LA is a good place to live as its the only place to do what I do. But the bay is Home and always will be.

The house I grew up in...



Where I reside now...



Where the heart is...

Kombucha Pt. 4

I just bottled my second batch of kombucha. Its mighty tasty. My first batch kinda smelled like farts. So that wasn't fun. But now I have three bottles going and I am ex-cite-ted. "Baby" kombuchas are coming soon! I'll be able to supply the wooooorrrld!!!




Review: My friend Jorjeana

My friend Jorjeana Marie is a funny girl. Last Sunday Tim, Sean Sey and Katy Bright and I went to the Improv on Melrose Ave to see her host a night there. I've never seen her do stand up before but knowing and talking to her, I already knew she was funny. She hosted a whole bunch of "novice" comedians that pleasantly surprised. You should go see her sometime.

And then some dude picked up on me because I was dressed reminiscently of Punky Brewster while my bf was in the bathroom. He came out and enjoyed watching a random pick up on his gf. Sadist. ;)

I met Jorjeana at Peet's Grill/Bar downtown a long time ago, and then met her again as my acting teacher. I, actually, both of us, had no clue that we had met previously. But we did, Coincidence? I think not.

Watch this! #2

Thats me in the purple.

My new blog

Being an actor can be tough, especially when you're just getting started. So I started a new blog with things that have been helpful to me and others that I know. Check it out. Actor's Control

Calendar

Saturday the 4th of October

If you've got some bucks to spend, LA Detour looks fun. If you want to buy me a ticket- even more fun!!

If you're a Burner (Burningman participant) LA Decom will be fun. And thats where I'll probably end up. :D

Kombucha Pt. 3

So, two Saturdays ago I picked up a kombucha mother from a nice lady named Jada over on the Westside. She gave me a good tip on making my Kombucha. Apparently, you shouldn't make kombucha with green tea because the anti-oxidants will kill the culture. So I made a fresh batch with my new gift. Its been 1 weeks so far and its smelling delish. I have a little baby growing on top, its cute (as much as a bacteria and yeast colony could be) and firm the way the pictures look when its healthy. I can't wait to bottle it and start some more!! I know I won't die from this batch.



The other batch, on the other hand, is disgusting and I haven't been able to get myself to toss it. As I am kind of grossed out about tossing it down the drain. eek. It may not look gross, but whats gross is that there is no culture growing in it. There are little floaties in it and it smells funny.

Watch this! #1

Pretty amazing.

Review: Beck, Spoon and MGMT

I went to the Hollywood Bowl for the first time, ever! I have indeed lived in LA almost 9 years and never once been there. I've got to say, its my new favorite place, especially because I love picnicking. You bring food and wine and friends and presto- you've got a party! Does it really matter who is playing? Not really. But it helps when they're good bands.

I was mostly there to see Spoon as I think they are pretty rockin'. They played lots of my favorite songs. MGMT is pretty awesome too, although, it would have helped to listen to their album a couple times. Anne told me they would be all dressed up. They weren't but they were still good. I've never been a huge fan of Beck, although I won't change the station if he is on. But there are bands that you love and then you see them in person and you can't listen to them anymore because they kind of sucked and then there are people you've never seen and never really got into and their show is amazing and makes you wanna buy their albums. Beck gives that kind of performance. His father lead the orchestra and the lights and sounds were all great too.

I think I may have eaten too much bread though. I my cheeks are kinda chub chub.

Yay for Catalina

Tim and I went to Catalina on Monday. I must say, it might be heaven. I can't believe I've never gone to Catalina before since its an hour ferry ride from Long Beach, which is only 40 minutes from LA. For the price of a decent pair of jeans from Buffalo Exchange you can go to and from Catalina, which might as well be a cute little isle in the middle of nowheres.

Being as I am no morning person, I slept on the way there, while Tim took pictures of me with the timer on.



Shortly after we arrived...




We did an Glass Bottom Boat ride. Its like being in the reverse of a fish tank. Where the fish get to look at you.






During our kayaking trip we found our own small strip of beach...




We stayed at the Pavillion Hotel. Cute. Lots of old people. Cool rooms. Great Staff. I highly recommend them. One of their employees even drove us in her golf cart up to the medical clinic because Tim got a golf ball stuck in his elbow. After we went Kayaking, Tim's elbow grew a life of its own. Its continued to grow since we left Catalina too. Here's a picture of it... (ignore the gooey stuff, its just ointment)



There are a limit to how many cars can be imported onto the island, so people drive these and other small non-vehicle vehicles...



And when they break down...



This was the only jump I timed right. Look at my face!!! Tim is a good jumper.



Waiting for the ferry to go home.



I had a good trip, a much needed trip.

xo to you.

Kombucha Update!

My little jar of Kombucha has a thin bubbly layer! I would say this is a big development. I'm still scared to try it though. It might kill me. I kid, I kid. Fruit flies have taken to trying to bask in its glory buy bathing on the cheese cloth deliciousness.

On Saturday I am picking up another culture from a woman on the Westside. So I am going to try another one and have a couple brews going. Eventually, my blood will just be kombucha and I will turn into vinegar.

The Adventures of Kombucha

I have started brewing my own kombucha recently as paying 3+ dollars is breaking my bank.

So far, I have a jar full of sweet green tea with some added kombucha to get things going. I'm starting my kombucha culture, so it is a bit of a different process than if I had a "mother" culture. Right now its just a big jar with a cloth covering over it, but eventually it will be drinkable goodness. Oh sweet kombucha, brew quickly!

I just got a style review!!

check it




Okay, okay. She is my best friend. But she tells no lies.

Burningman

My second year at Burningman was dusty.

I'll give you the highlights-
Dusty for daaaaays
Watched the documentary crew i was with stage scene :(
Made some great friends
Had a somewhat horrible time with my carmates
Got a great tan
Missed my boyfriend

I could write a damn novel about that week. But I won't, cuz its complicated and shite.

I will tell you this though, despite this year's crappy burn, I will be back next year cuz no year could be as crap-tastic as this one was.

xo

Cauliflower and Elastic

Tonight I spent my evening with Anne. First we ate at Hama Sushi. Hama Sushi is so delicious. It happens to be my favorite sushi place. Tiny, intimate, local favorite. Spicy scallop, spider roll and oysters were on my menu tonight. Anne and I continued home but stopped to get delicious red bean and mochi and then off to Chinatown's Lollicup. The milk tea with tapioca at J&S is a million times better than anywhere else, but unfortunately its in the bay area and Lollicup is a fair substitute. But it always has this weird stink in it.

Eventually we made it to my house where... I don't know. Some how we ended up tossing this wadded up cauliflower-shaped tule (the stuff to make dresses puffy, that light, net-like fabric) tied with elastic like it was a bouquet. I can't even believe I'm busting us out like that. Girls are funny. Neither of us are in a rush to get married, but we spent a good 10 minutes throwing it like we just got married (not to each other) and laughing ridiculously at the whole scene.

On the subject of Gay Marriage- Recently someone asked Anne and me if we were a couple. In the words of Nathan "FAIL" I wonder though, if Anne and I were gay, who would be the pants of the relationship... I think possibly, we'd both be wearing squorts. Okay, enough of this cockamamie.

Conference Calls and Bicycles

They don't mix.

Let's back up, I had a guest staying with me for a week or so. And like any bad host, I left him alone for 5 of the 7 days. I had to go out of town for my elementary school best friend's wedding to her long time boyfriend. Which was quite fun, by the way. By the time I was to return my friend that was staying with me, Ryan, had to go visit family friends in San Diego. This left us Sunday to do something fun. He had heard about the Standard Downtown's Sunday Summer Lameness, I mean, er, Funness. Anyway, they made us wait in line and then they wanted us to pay 60 bucks for 2 girls and 2 guys. Sorry but thats just not my cup of tea. I said, "Eff that." and we left. We soon arrive at the Westin Bonaventure on 2nd and Fig. Break into their hotel and swim there. Nice, low key and just for hotel guests only.

We continue to have a nice time until we have to leave so Ryan can catch the train to SD. I realize I am missing a conference call about the project I'm working on, so I hop on and tell Tim, Anne and Ryan that I'll be on a conference call as we leave the hotel on our bikes. Did I mention we were on our bikes this whole time?

I get on my bike, go through the tunnel, phone in hand, earbuds in ears, ass on bike seat- all while I'm still on this conference call. I'm flying the 20mph or so that we are flying at and eventually I grip my left handle bar a bit too tightly. For those of you that don't know, the left brake is for the front tire.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Over the handle bars and a little to the left.

I didn't have time to be frightened or embarassed, but I did seriously "eat shit" or pavement rather. I did walk away though, with not being too injured. I do have a nice little bruised, slightly sprained ankle and some other nice battle wounds from fighting the physical universe. All in all, my left side of the body is a bit sore today and my ankle is a little angry with me.

We got my friend off to the train station and Tyler, my brother, came over for the monthly haircut/dinner with the sis. We had a nice Korean BBQ dinner. My little adopted family and me.

Burningman Count Down

Burningman starts in two weeks and three days. For me, its on my mind all the time. The dust and the weird costumes call me. For most, its a return home. As a virgin (one who has never been to BM), they make you ring the bell and then roll in the dust, welcome you home and give you a hug. Its all very hippy but somehow feels right. check it out ---> http://burningman.com

This year is special for me though. Things I had a desire and fleeting thought for are coming into a reality that I thought unrealistic. The first night I was at Burningman in 2006, I thought, "How awesome would it be to make a movie here?" And I AM!! I am helping produce what I think will be a fantastic voyage of documentation at Burningman. Also, I wanted to go with people who are experiencing Burningman mostly sober and without hallucinations. haha check it out---> http://asthedustsettles.com

Anyway, I am really excited. Any of you are welcome to join me. I would love it if you did. Its something to experience, fo'sho!

Getting it on.

My title may be a little misleading but it depends what "it" is. In this case, "it" is defined as life or activity (even though they are not one and the same or are they?)

Even though I am out of town, I would still love to attend all of these (although, in reality I'd usually make it to only a couple. Old age, man, old age.

Tonight- Today is Thursday. But it is no ordinary Thursday; today is a special Thursday. This particular one is a return to the old ways, the underground ways, the SPEAKEASY ways. That's right. The anticipated return of the good ol' speakeasy downtown. For me this is very exciting as its been gone for a while and without it I feel like everybody else who doesn't know some amazing underground cash only/illegal/fantastic/"members only" bar. Anyway, if you are "in the know" and know someone with the password, you too can experience that which is known to few.

Tomorrow- While I have things I find out about first, I have lots of friends who are active and find fun things that I want to do (Anne!). Well this particular one is Midnight Ridazz. I believe they have Critical Mass every first Friday of the month and is usually held somewhere on the Eastside. Tomorrow is especially cool as it is Pillow Fight II. Here is the link. http://midnightridazz.com/viewStory.php?storyId=1078

Saturday- Swimming with the Sharks at the Downtown Standard. Put on by my friend DJ Rockwell this is sure to be a fun-filled, sun-filled afternoon/evening full of hipsters and sexy people (and some fat drunk people too). If you've never been, show up early so you can claim your egg-shaped water beds. Great music and the ultimate scene from a movie. Its good to experience at least once.

Saturday- The CC Gala. Self explanatory if you know what that is. Cool. if not, thats cool too.

Yesterday to Saturday- I live in the Arts District Downtown and for the last week they have been blighting my life by blocking off the Traction Street entrance. Its for a good cause though. They are having rehearsals for a play in the mean streets of the Arts District/Joel Bloom Square. This play is about the rich history of Downtown Artists living in and about the Arts District. I am sad I won't be able to attend it as it only runs Wed, 8/06- Sat 8/09. So if you are around, and are interested in that, you should go. There is a $20 suggested donations but its really "pay what you can."

Sunday- Friends of mine are going to Magic Mountain. Funnily enough, there is someone named "Magic Mark" going. "Magic Mark" is going to Magic Mountain. Woo! But more importantly, Anne is going, which makes it all worth while (you too Cher).

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This is a test post. I poop.

When people die.

"When people in my life, it is usually of old age/old-age-complications or something along those lines. I recently had a family friend not die of the inevitable aging process. He hung himself in front of his house early in the morning a month ago. His wife found him and gave him CPR to no avail. One would assume that he was suicidal and blackened in the mind. Yes, he probably was but nobody would know it. He had a zest for life not many could match or muster up and to talk with him you felt like he was your best friend. Fantastic man. But he killed himself. He had been in pain for a very long time and it finally got him. In the last couple days I figured out that a parent of someone I am acquainted with also passed. For reason's I don't know. I do know that she probably isn't much older than 60 (if even that old). Its just strange though, that I am now at the age where people are dying and they don't seem as old as they used to. I'm waiting for the third to die. I don't know who, but they come in threes.

People are dying and people are also getting married and having babies. All that seems so close to me now. It never existed really in my world as possibilities for me but they're close and they're scary."

People and Their Kids

Um, okay. So people have kids all the time right? Why is it these days its okay to have a kid with someone you're not really that committed to? Like "let me knock you up" and then we'll try and stick it out together and then split the kids' time. WTF? Or when you know that one of the people is a total fuck but they go and have that kid anyway. I'm all for having kids. I want some myself one day. But you throw two people together for a couple minutes of pleasure and they pop out a kid that is going to be very disfunctional if the parents don't have it together. I'm not saying everyone from a broken home is damaged but I would say they are more so than their counter-parts. Not that people who have parents that are still together or were raised while they were together in the formative years are less damaged, but I might go as far to say that they are *maybe* on the whole a bit less.

Whats with this shotgun wedding thing going on in Celebrity World. Jessica Alba, Ashley Simpson etc. Why can't they wait for kids until they've committed themselves to each other instead of committing themselves because of a kid. It seems like life, love and relationships are so disposable these days. Its sad.

I have always been somewhat of an idealist despite the world looking quite glum for long-term-life-partnerships. I hope that people can have relationships that last forever. I hope that, because I want that. But I also want excitement and freedom that oft disappears whence in a relationship. I wish they could go hand in hand. I know they can but then often other things, important things, don't match up.

I hate reality TV.

Open Letter to You, my Love.

When we fight, it kills me. It takes me to a dark place. Often when it gets bad, I need you to pull me out of it with a hug. I need you to hold me tight and let me feel like you'll never let me go. Suck up your anger and hold me and tell me you love me. Because sometimes I can't get out by myself. I can't do it.
Sometimes we need to fucking take it and just create the postive energy when one of us has none and share it with the other. Obviously, we sometimes bring out things in the other that aren't the best, but other times are the exact opposite. I wish we could talk more. I wish we could be freer with each other. I feel like this week has totally shut me down and out and probably you a bit too or a lot maybe.

This week has sucked some serious balls.

I found a quote I really liked. I thought we could put it to use.


"For a great many years, I asked this question: 'To communicate or not to communicate?' If one got himself in such thorough trouble by communication, then of course one should stop communicating. But this is not the case. If one gets himself into trouble by communicating, he should further communicate. More communication, not less, is the answer."

— L. Ron Hubbard


I fucking love you so much. I would never have gone through the trouble that we've gone through if I didn't think you were something special. We've been really good besides this last week. Let's not get all tangled up over nothing.

Lets talk.

Running Into People You are Trying to Avoid

Last night I went out. While this doesn't sound very out of the ordinary, it was quite. I went to an art show full of people I rarely see now and then to a house warming party full of people that I go out of my way to avoid. One would ask, "Why? Why would you do that?" After a year of avoiding one person I personally wronged and a couple I had major falling outs with a while back, I went to face my past.

I guess I don't really have much to say about it aside from me being glad that I saw there, however painful and weird it was. I got some good advice from my friend, Jonny, about running into people that you don't want to see. He said, "Say hello. You don't have to get into it right there, but say, 'Its really good to see you, we should talk some time. '"

I knew it was coming before I went, so I was kind of prepared.

Ultimately it was kind of painful and cathartic. And very much needed.

My boyfriend was there, he knew it was a big deal for me even though he played it down. He held my hand, shook others' and held me close. It was good to have him there. I have to say- he's pretty amazing.